I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
