remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
