You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
