she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
