I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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