In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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