I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
