I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
