Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
