Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize