so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
