I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
