Please, let me fuck your mom
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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