I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
