Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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