i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
