i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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