Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
