You're my little dorito
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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