At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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