Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
