well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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