I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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