Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This baby is an asshole
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
