Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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