She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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