She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
