While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
