Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
