Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
