I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
