I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
