I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
