think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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