Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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