: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
