Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
