I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
