you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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