Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
