so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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