i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
