I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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