My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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