oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
