Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
