He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
