Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
