I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
