summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
