Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
